August 22, 2011

Perhaps I should learn how to blog again. Not really for the sake of others to read, but for myself to reflect back 10 years down the road, what I had wrote 10 years ago. Reading through my blog posts for the past 6 years, back to my old blogspot and all. I guess I can call it “growing up” I can call it “leaving the past behind”, but I think what is more accurate to describe it as will be “growing cynical of life”.

I remember telling someone that, once I lost hope in all mankind. I never learnt how to trust afterwards, because when someone who is never supposed to betray you, does betray you, anyone else could possibly hurt you. So the only way to stay safe, is never to allow anyone to matter.

Perhaps I had made the mistake of allowing that to sway once. To allow someone to matter to me again, after so many  years of protection. To allow someone into my life, and within my comfort zone. For a couple of years, I had actually allowed myself to think that I had made the right choice of letting that decision sway, and perhaps allow myself to think that there is hope in man afterall.

Years pass, and now. I know, mankind never change. and they will always fail you in the end. And those who you allowed to matter, will be the most hurting part of your life. And who else better to be blame than myself?

But despite all these, I am grateful for all that had happened in the recent years, that chance of allowing someone into my life. To show me briefly in the years, that sometimes, somehow, mankind could be trusted. Perhaps not for long, but at least they could at been, at some point of my life.

Trust is a serious business. It allows someone to be built up, or to be destroyed. It’s really important to guard your trust, to deposit yourself entirely into someone. And to trust is not to half believe, not to choose and pick when to rely. It means 100% trust and faith in the person. No matter what happens. And now that I had shown you that 100% trust that I said I would give you from the start, I stand true to my promise. My promise to you and myself. To trust without questions, to trust without limits. To trust that regardless what that had happened, it was for a reason. And the reason is better kept away from me.

Turning 21 this year, made me seen many things happened in the past years. Many changes, many crossroads for you to stand in the middle, not knowing where to go. And any step that is miscalculated, could cost you something treasured. Well, who said you had to rush? No one. So take your time, to think through what you need to think through about, and take those calculated steps. It’s time to act responsibly, I guess. To answer for our own actions, and decisions.

But if anyone were to ask me right now? I stand true to my decision made. And for those who knows what is this decision, I’m glad for you to be in my life. And for that particular you who is of concern, take your time. We are not rushing anywhere. If you are even here.



January 18, 2011

Don’t say I no heart. Here’s one long sappy letter for you! 🙂

I remember sitting behind one another during P5. Back then, we sat according to our height and so the shortest boy got the shortest girl etc. We often swop places cos we didn’t wanted to sit with that disgusting boy who dug his nose and cleans on the person next to him, sneezing into the hankerchief that seems like it had never been washed!

But somehow or rather, due to your slightly more grown head (ahem) you always ended up with him since he was the 5th boy. I didn’t bother rescuing you. Lol!

Somehow or rather, we were sitting near those really tall guys like…. Jeffrey (i think) and they bullied us endlessly. Actually it was targeted at you but why I kena also? Haha nevermind. Do you still remember that opaque egg looking lkke thing that they threw at us! I still had it up till last week before I threw it away while clearing my room okay!

i remember copying homework!! It started off as you do English and Science, I do Maths and Chinese. But we changed the plan to you doing Odds of all subject and I do Evens of all subject. Fairer right! 🙂 But i always didn’t do my work on time and i end up copying wholesale from you while your momma will ask why you left these these these questions empty? You will always say you don’t know how to do. Seriously, didn’t she realise that those are alternate questions? Haha.

I remember competing to see who can fold the plastic straw heart the fastest and we will always do so whenever we eat fastfood (which was daily?). You always lose cos your fingers will get tangled among themselves. Hahahaha! Where is that box that was filled with those hearts that we made and i gave it to you on one of your birthdays!?

I remember joining netball for you. Tsk. I don’t even like it but Alicia and you were like crazy over it! So bopian lor, joined and played some interclass competition (Believe it or not, i still have those ugly trophies okay!)

I remember walking all the way to Petir LRT to take train home although school is nearer to Pending just so that we can walk you home okay. The mama shop in between and the horrible big field in the middle that we all tried to be the shortest of all cos some dumbass told us that if you are the tallest among the people there, you will get strike by lightning! 😦

I remember how we tried to kill each other over MY phone on the day that PSLE results were released. Your phone died or something and we were going crazy over the fact that we had almost the same score. Okay you had 234 with 3As and 1 A* while I had 233 with 4As only. 1 mark only what 😦
Hahahaha. The stairs that we were wrestling over the phone! Don’t make sense lor,hello that is MY phone. And that was how I had the (bad) habit over yelling HELLO AUNTY into your phone whenever your mum called. Teehee.

I remember how sad I was when you wanted to go Swiss Cottage and St Marg! 😦 cos i had to go BBSS so I was really really (secretly) happy that you can’t get into Swiss and St Marg. Hehehe. So we went BBSS together! 🙂

I remember buying all the uniforms and books together. And you queued in the queue to try on BOYS uniform. So in the end you just bought 2 more sets of whatever i bought since I queued in the right queue. Textbooks were also just TIMES 2.

I remember the sharing of locker. And my momma fetching us to school. That time your maid was still at your house and she had to walk you to my house bus stop daily just to take a (late) ride with me. Eventually you got really pissed at me for being (very) late and you took the bus yourself! 😦

i remember introducing you to YZ who was LP’s friend at that time. Just nice, you and YZ same class, LP and i same class. But obviously you guys got to take the bus together 😦

I remember Sec 3 when we were choosing our classes and although you were obviously stronger in Humans, you chose Triple Sci cos it was seen as the Elite class and the smarter bunch. (humphs) And now all 3 of you abandon me! Hahaha.

Ans that was the year that you threw me out of the locker as well cos Shaun entered the school (Wahlaoeh). There goes my key bringer. Haha.

I remember sec 4 when we eventually graduated from BBSS. I really thought we will end up in the same school again since you said you wanna try appeal for Biz and i wanted Biz too. But you went ECH! 😦 But at least we are both in NP, if that counts as anything. Haha.

Different courses set us apart and we both had different sets of friends to hang out with. We had different commitments and we rarely met. Really wasn’t used to it but I was determined to keep it going so I keep on (pestering) asking you all for dinner meetups. (Now you know!)

And that is a recollection of our 10years as besties 🙂
Love me for these cos I typed it on my iPhone and depleting my battery from 60% to 36% now okay! 🙂

Seen a dead body!

January 7, 2011

Wah, last post was on 17Dec. I’m bored at work again so here’s a short recap before the email I am waiting for, comes in and I have to start work again. Christmas was spent, partially at church, partially at E’s house? Went for Xmas Bash. What’s with the lighting, I will say again, but oh wells. Went with Zhang and she left me alone to wait for her for very very long. And when I left her alone for 2 minutes, this was what she sent me:



Like a kid, who you can’t leave alone, okay but that was cute. HAHAHA.
Oh, she rather fetch Mk than me, sians 😦


30th was the party! Which dru and zhang cannot come in the end. WHYYYYYYY. one is elder abuse, one is child abuse 🙂
Sit there hear the guys sing K till 1am + and damien became really whiny. finally seen the less happier side of him liao. (teehee!)

Side tracking, I was really waiting desperately for THAT piece of paper to land on my desk for me to finally sign on the dotted line. But it never came. 27th no paper, 28th no paper, 29th no paper, 30th off, 31st off. DIE I STILL DON’T HAVE THAT PIECE OF PAPER. 3jan no paper, 4jan no paper, 5jan no paper, 6jan GOT PAPER! but it was shitty. Rejected and talked and talked, finally there was a conclusion, but… still no paper. it’s 7jan now and I am still working without being on a contract. What’s worse, working like this or just quitting? Okay, bad comparison.

I want it to be lunch soon. But plans are not confirmed, and idk where are the guys right now. Maybe watching old men fishing. Maybe buying a thousand bettas. Maybe still talking about yesterday. Maybeeeeee they are thinking what to eat later. Nah, the last one won’t happen. (teehee!)

Speaking of yesterday, saw the aftermath of an accident on the highway. Man’s dragged under a lorry for almost 100m or so and the wifey was sitting at the roadside crying for him and idk what else. About her kids or something. The initial thought was that oh, the husband must be somewhere in front quarreling with the man who knocked into his motorbike, wanting compensations and he must be a jackass cos he just wanted quick cash out of it etc. Nah.. Poor man, poor wifey, poor lorry driver ( Very poor thing okay, knock people down already, and didn’t realised it, drove for a while then realised you had been dragging a body around, and you are a freaking lorry driver, you are so gonna get your ass fired.) But DAMN THOSE PEOPLE who stopped and take photos. Take what? Celebrities come you also take, people fall down you also take, NOW PEOPLE DIE you also want to take. Leave that man some dignity to die, will you. Damn you. Damn the mother who wound down the window and carry her kid up to peek out of window to see the dead body. Hope your kid get truamtised and grow up an idiot. Damn the motorist who drove through the road shoulder, looking as if you care alot, but actually you just wanted the shortcut since Lane 1 was jamming up. Seriously. get a life.

The first thing I did when I came to work today was to search Stomp. Don’t get me wrong, I am not so bo liao to surf such net at such urgency, but I just wanted to see if any idiots posted the pictures up the site. Then I will create an account just to swear at that person. Okay, I’m kidding about the last part, but YA! you get me.

Saw the dead body, it was pretty gruesome. Think about it, if you are the wifey, will you rather people tell you on the spot that your husband is dead some 100m down the road, or just pat your shoulder and say he will be fine and find out tomorrow or so that he is dead?

I’m feeling bad that I am not affected by it or the dead body I see, or the wifey’s wailing (It is still ringing in my head). I mean, don’t all girls freak out when they see an arm twisted, bruised, much less GONE? Dia is right, maybe I need a doctor. Ha. Don’t get me wrong, I feel sorry for the man/wifey/lorry driver. It’s just the OH SO SAD, but we can’t really do anything about it, and it doesn’t gross me out. In fact, I purposely went to take a look at the body. Oh wells. teehee?

Oh and I realised that Malays are actually very friendly people. All except for us who stopped to help (and not related to the man) are Malays. They stayed throughout, called the police, and helped out really well. So nice of them. I forget his name again liao, but he’s good man! Thank God for Damien who is a certified nurse! Totally helped to calm the wifey down and assess the man etc. Oh and they ran a mini sprint of 100m back and fro. Which I was HUH about, cos we could had just drove the car forward right? Instead of leaving the car in the middle, and people driving very slowly beside us, and TAKING PICTURES OF THE CAR. damnnnnn.

Sad things aside, it’s a new year, so let’s all be merry 🙂


Yeah. I wanna get fingerless gloves. And yes, don’t laugh. You know office is really really cold. And it’s centrally controlled by Suntec, so we can’t just say OH I AM SO COLD LET’S TURN IT OFF. Not to mention that those sit inside one will complain how warm it is. And sitting here all day, behind a reception desk, typing away ALL DAY, isn’t very finger friendly. Often, I find myself sitting on my fingers, hugging the warm water bottle, walking around and tucking my fingers into my pockets.

Anyway, I was surfing F21, and I saw this:

Aren’t they cool or what? Of course it doesn’t solve the issue of my cold FINGERS but it beats having those $2.50 white gloves that we had used while being GOH etc ones right? This is way better. Besides, how do I type if I am wearing the $2.50 white gloves and one finger can easily press 3 buttons at a time? (Though I can’t resist but say that one of my colleague actually has that $2.50 white gloves that she use at work.)

Should I get it? It’s so cute! Though I’m sure I will get many weird eyes. Hahahaha.

Side note, I decide to be optimistic about my work and hope for that contract to land on me soon. But as what Dru had told me just now during lunch, (Okay fine, nia, you try to tell me as well), I should look for another avenue just in case they die on me. Who knows? It’s a CYA world out there. So my CYA plan is to…… work at Gong Cha.

I’m serious. Why not. Okay, maybe KOI. but yeah, you get my drift. But won’t I be better off at Subway? Maybe. But at least I get to drink awesome tea daily, and not eat boring Subway sandwiches (Pardon me, since I had been eating them almost daily for 3 years okay).

Speaking of lunch, went to meet Dru at Raffles City just now. I went out at 1pm, and came back at 2.30pm. Heck. I even had time to detour to sneak a peek at Kate Spade sales! Didn’t go in though, don’t wanna push my luck too far.

Shall go there after work with YZ, and chiong MNG as well. You crazy woman. Stop shopping. Haha.

Dru wanted to eat Soup Spoon, but after my reluctant OKAY, he kinda got the hint and we went to Subway, his favourite place to makan on earth. I can memorise your order already. Footlong (WHATEVER), All vegetables without Pickles and Jalapenos, with Mayo and Sweet Onion sauce. Thereee. Oh and he treated me to Gong Cha. That was where I said I wanted to work there if HERE dies on me. I’m kidding actually, they are too cheena-fied for me. I will be like HAR, WHAT CHA? Kidding.

OH OH. FAST FACT. Did you know that Jalapeño is supposed to be pronounced as” hah-lah-PEHN-yo”? 🙂

I’m opening alot of weird sprees recently, cos people had been suggesting them. And since they look cool, why not? I’m gonna ask Mum to supp me a credit card so that I can earn points on them. At the rate I am spree-ing, I ought to rack up a decent amount of points to redeem myself SOMETHING. I mentioned it to her and she say sure, just tell her what card I want. And I said, doesn’t it work the way that she tell me what she have, and what can be supp-ed, den we decide meh? She sound as if she has all the cards in the world. Haha. Don’t care, I just want a card. AHH.

Talking about cards, I wanna be 21. Damn. At 21, you get to do many things yourself, you don’t need your parents to sign after you or anyone to guarantee your life. Which is annoying. Imagine you just want one small thing, and it will be blown out of proportion, just cause you need your parents’ signatures and IC photocopies AND whatever the companies decide to demand for. Siao.

I swear, the first thing I’m gonna get when I am 21, is a bloody credit card. Okay! 🙂 Talking about it, it pissed me off that MAS actually change the regulation only earlier this year that it is mandatory to be 21 before you can apply for a credit card? Talk about sway.

Oh, and about being 21…. I told a couple of people already. I am going to go Pulau Ubin and sit the whole day there. Maybe I am kidding, but it sounds like a good back up plan. Too far, too dangerous? I shall go Sentosa and sit lor. But YZ won’t be around to sit with me in the rain and bitch about the guys anymore 😦 I wanna hide beside the stone and complain with you again 😦

She’s gonna leave in Feb! Who to look for if I hear good lobangs and cheap sales? Angie will ask me to save money, Von was never into such stuff, and Doti isn’t as well. E will sit on me if I ask him to go shopping with me. Boo. Who to look for if I don’t have dinner partner? 😦

Okay, i’m done being emo for the moment. Shall get back to work. Heeeeee 🙂

I am so very bored at work. It’s the end of the year and there’s not much people left in the office. Which translate to not much work to do. At least for me. Cos Mel is still bustling around like a bee. Which means me wonder why is she so busy but I’m so free. Oh I know why. She is more experienced and I am just some noob shit wondering around this place.

Oh wells. At least I am having fun facing the girl from Novell daily. She is pretty. Today she is wearing a dress. Okay,  I sound like a perverted stalker, so I shall not describe her anymore.  The weird thing about my office is that, there is an opaque stripe across the doors and windows, which is just at my eye level. JUST NICE. Maybe the person who previously sat here was taller, maybe the technician thought that the office is full of giants. But I always have to crane my neck and twist around like a mild idiot before I can see who is walking towards the door. Which means sometimes I will be slow in opening the door because a person walking over towards me, might mean he is walking towards here, but turning right to the company on our right, or turning left to the weird grey door that leads to I don’t know where.

Talking about the door, it is WEIRD. You have to press the button down for 3 seconds, before it reacts and open the door for you, but it will close within 3 seconds of you releasing the button as well. So I’m always caught in the situation whereby I gotta hurry the person through the door before he or she get kiap-ed by the door and embarassing him or her AND me. Did I mention that it cannot be opened/closed again, when it is opening/closing? Meaning you cannot interrupt it. You gotta let it close fully with a click before you can press again to release the door.

Oh there. Two more people at the door. But they are tall. I can see pass the opaque stripe for their heads and recognise that they belong here. But not fast enough to crane my neck while smiling. So I forgot to smile. Oopsie. Shall smile to him later on. He is a nice Brazilian. I like him.

Talking about liking people. Yuzhen is so damn funny. She actually forgot the fact that she has to attend Chor’s POP. Oh my. Read it to understand:

Such a nice girlfriend. Hahahaha.

Okay, I am going to have Gelare waffle ice cream for lunch. Weirdly, this make me think of Von. I wanna meet her. Boo. And QY! for *winks* 🙂

Now, even Yuzhen DC from Gmail chat, so I am all alone. ALL ALONEEEEE. in a lonely reception corner of a lonely office. Oh did I mention that there’s a witch around here. She flies around on a broom and likes to land on the little christmas tree that I have near me. She cackles and scratches her black nails on the board behind me and hiakhiakhiak all the time. Ya right. HAHA.

.. .. ..

.. .. Nothing.

Technically there is. There’s the gathering on 26th, which is cancelled cos apparently some other more important gathering came up and we had to play second fiddle. And there’s the second gathering on 30th, which is a MUST-GO-ON-NO-MATTER-IF-THE-SKY-DROPS. And there’s Ryan’s birthday on the 31st. Maybe I will have more work when I come back the next Jan. Since most of the consultants will be back from their holidays and will have work to do. Hope so. Oh, can I just have my damn contract already 😦

I had decided that I like watches with big face. They look so cute overwhelming my “small in comparison” wrist. Just stolen one from E. Not that he needs it anyway right? I’m helping him utilise the many watches that he have.  Woofie needs one too. Maybe we can get him a watch necklace. You know the kind that you can open and close. And one side can put photo one side is the clock? Eww. Cheesy.

Oh cute UPS uncle is here again! This time round he wants me to fill up some forms regarding opening and closing of the office during the last week of Dec.

*Chants* I want my contract, I want my contract. I. WANT. MY. CONTRACT.

Tadas. More to add. Was surfing through someone’s blog. Usually will not be interested in surfing her site, but since she is somehow someone somewhat important to someone who matters to me, I surfed. And this is what I saw. Hahahaha. So cool.


Just received a very WTH news.

I am to work for the last week of Dec. Whatever happened to the one week leave that you said I will have? Lip service only. Bullshit. I am damn pissed now. Damn it.

December 11, 2010

i miss my bff 😦


December 6, 2010

Went Bintan over the weekend for Monitor’s company… “outing”? “retreat”? Idk what is it supposed to be.

Stayed at Nirwana Resort Hotel. Shiok ttm. Good view, nice room, good service! They actually smile and greet you okay. Not like SG. Tsk.

Didn’t had time to take photos of the room cos I was sharing with Kathy (My Regional Finance Director) so gotta act more *AHEMS* professional. I did take a signature snapshot of woofie with the room key though. In case you hadn’t known, I bring woofie to every country that I go and so far he had been to…. Taiwan, Hongkong, Genting, Bintan. He’s one lucky softdog.

Oh yes, did I mentioned that I puke on the ferry there? It was like swaying left to right to left to up to down, while I was talking to Clara. Decided to go to sleep since I had nothing much to chat with her for the next 1 hour to come. BUT, Michael happened to asked a question, and I woke up to answer him and we ended up chatting with the rest.

Bad move 😦 5 minutes to landing, I felt as if everything was going left to right to up to down inside me. And a few seconds later, I’m hugging the toilet bowl. Shiat.

Ate dinner at the Kelong Restaurant, which is really a kelong, wooden attap house built on water (On bamboo poles, fine). A night of laughing at non funny jokes and talking to people who don’t really matter alot in your life but you sound really interested in their stuff. HA. Okay, to be fair, some of the stuff they say are really interesting and good to know, so yeah.

Did the Indonesian Massage over ther

e after dinner at like 11pm!?  The lady is really good. Petite yet forceful, causing me to have muscle aches now. But it’s good. And it’s cheap. SGD29 for an hour, in room service!

Went to the Factory Outlet there to see if I could land my hands on any good deals. Found a Versace Polo and it’s in E’s size! So just nice, there, he got a gift. Didn’t hunt for one specially for you okay? HAHA. Nothing much to get over there though, everything was everywhere. It wasn’t messy, just unorganised. Different brands are all hung together, so you really have to pick out one piece by a time to look at their designs since it’s kinda like one piece per design?

Had spare times to pass before it’s time for the ferry ride back to SG. Never had been so happy before to go back SG, but since I know I will get to see SOMEONE soon, I don’t really mind leaving Bintan 🙂

Chilling out with Mel at the Hotel Bistro.. Drinking some Pink Passion Cocktail, made out of Strawberry, Banana, Light Rum. It looked like Strawberry, tasted like Banana and Light Rum. oh wells.

Reached back SG, thankfully not puking cos I slept through the whole ferry ride 🙂 Caught a ride with Clara since her dad is fetching her home and I wanted to go Bugis. Thanks to good people like these 🙂

Met E at Bugis and had a quick dinner since he was starving and we headed home afterwards.

Oh oh. And while we were heading back to the carpark, we drove the car all the way till the gantry area, and then remembering that his cashcard has only $2.03 in it. Reversed out and I had to go look for the topup machine. We were at B1 and the machine was at B2. HEIHEIHEIIIIII.

And while topping up, this is what I received through whatsapp from baby.


Apparently, according to him, it is supposed to mean “JIAYOU” from woofie, since he has one fist up and another down. Adorable. I meant the both of them. 😀

There, my awesome weekend. I just wanna flop and sleep right now.

December 2, 2010

Yadayada. Was surfing flowerpod this morning and one of the ladies there gave me this link:

Went in to check it out and the first thing I see is this:

Weeee! $170 nett for Batam 2D1N sounds really good. like seriously really good. *looks at E* hor? really good.

But I think this site is really cool cos daily it gives you different types of promotions, like facials for $20 when original is $200 etc. E tried to show me one bust enhancement one that was going at $28. humph 😦

my dear zhang, 1 more week! 1 more weeeeeeeek! hahaha.

Okay, now i’m left with 11 more minutes of wastage work left to go, before i get to watch Narnia! Wee! Super big fan of Narnia series though I will still never get about reading the books since they will probably put me to sleep, but yes! I love the movie, I love the way how they use imagery and personification on each and everyone of the characters. Loves the way how they depict the lion and the little child’s faith.

It’s december already! How did it get so fast to the end of 2010? On one hand, I’m always excited for Dec since it means fun/activities filled period of time. Usually I will be hanging out at church daily, preparing for camp, bash, whatever parties that come along. But this year, it will just gonna be me, work, the boy and more of the boy. maybe a little of CEFC. and a little of party. *rubs hands together*

okay, the 11 minutes had became 5 minutes after typing for so long. Since I’m bored and Woofie is bored, he decide to let me take a picture of him. Tadas. There, admire him~

Don’t ask me why is lighting so bad. Because it is THAT bad. it’s all around yellow lighting for me.

No wonder my eyes are going blur on me. Shall go get some white light for myself.

Okay! It’s 6 now! To whoever reading this, thanks for entertaining me. HAHAHA. toodles~


November 29, 2010

Spree is like roller coasters for me. Sometimes I have many orders that I can receive 14 cartons at a go, but sometimes I struggle to cap. Sometimes I have many customers asking for different sprees, but sometimes I have to ask around personally to see if any friends want anything.

Sometime I wonder if there’s anything wrong with my customer service, or is it just me. I really think. I . SUCK. IN. BUSINESS. hahaha.

On the brighter side, we just gotta wait for 2 weeks more for zhang’s exams to be over and we can start on triamorosa! *crosses fingers* I really hope this work out well, cos it had been my dream for years! 🙂

Woe of the Day

November 24, 2010

Will you accept a job if you love every part of it but just hate one part of it, which happen to be the largest part of your job scope?

Okay, so I did agree since the $ was too good to reject. Plus, where else can I go?

Now just a teensy weeny bit of regret floating around 😦